The Trip I Almost Didn't Take

I almost didn't go to Tanzania. The reasons were reasonable. I was afraid. Being a woman in a foreign country. Flying, safety, being far from home, all of it. The timing was difficult, it was a lot of money, and I had already been to Africa once. What got me on the plane was my best friend Staci. She was going. Her son Cole was going. I had spent years supporting people in Tanzania through LOTUS from my laptop in Portland, and I had never met any of them in person. We ended up having one of the most incredible adventures I can imagine.

What I Got Wrong

I thought I was going to be the person who brought something. Instead I spent most of the trip being taught. The people I met were already doing the work. They were strong, capable, and funny, and what they needed was a partner, not a rescuer. I expected to feel needed. I felt lucky.

Meeting Grace

Grace Ngonyani runs the Gracious Hope Foundation. We had supported her work for years: the free daycare that lets mothers work or go to school, the sewing machines, the well. I had written about her and looked at photographs of her work more times than I can count.It is not the same as standing in her school. There is a real difference between supporting someone and meeting them. Grace stopped being a cause to me that day. She became a woman running an organization, making decisions, solving problems I would not know how to solve, and doing it in conditions that would seem undoable to most.

Africa is a Game Changer

I don't know how else to say it. Part of it is the land. The light in the morning, the size of everything, a horizon that keeps going after your eyes expect it to stop. I slept in a glamping tent on safari, and I want to mention it because it is the part people picture when they hear the word Africa.

In the middle of the night I heard an elephant pulling branches off a tree somewhere past the light. Later there were lions roaring. It was wonderful. It was slightly terrifying. It is also not what changed me.

Waking up out there, hearing the animals at night, seeing how big the country actually is. I loved it. But most of it is the people. Tanzania holds some of the most beautiful, capable, and generous people I have ever met, and I would not know any of them or have any of these incredible memories if I had let a reasonable objection win.

To the Women Who Are Waiting

I say this as someone who waited. The version of me who was going to go once she felt ready is still waiting. You do not have to feel brave before you book the ticket. I didn't. You book it while you are still afraid, and the courage catches up with you.

Come with us

In May 2027, She Dares to Wander and LOTUS Humanitarian are going back to Tanzania and Kenya. This time, we have even more projects and amazing partners on the ground. I won't promise you comfort. You will be tired, and outside your element, and possibly listening to an elephant take apart a tree at two in the morning. You will also meet people you will think about for the rest of your life. Feel the fear. Get on the plane anyway.

With love and gratitude,

Anya